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What motivates me...

Nothing will work unless YOU do.
Originally posted by get_fit_skinny at Who wants to bring back the Weekly Weigh-Ins for this group?!
From a great suggestion from vanillatea now that we are nearing the holiday and end of the year how about we start up the weekly weigh-ins again? I am totally up for it! We only have 109 days left but that is enough to make a huge impact in how much we weigh!

If you want to as well then choose your day to post each week. Mine will be on Sat.
Then you can post your weight for that week and your goal (if you have one) for the next week. It would be a great way to keep us motivated and an easy way to encourage each other.

So here are my starting stats as of yesterday when I started trying again.
Start weight 204.2
Goal for week 1: -5 lbs (right now I am 201.2 and lost 3 lbs yesterday)

So if you are not part of the group feel free to join. And if you know anyone else who may want to join as well let them know.   We are just there to support each other and not promote any type of diet or way of eating.

Day 2 of 109 (-3 lbs)

CW: 201.2
SW: 204.2
lbs lost since yesterday: -3
Start Date: 9/12/15
End Date 1/01/16

There are 109 days left in 2015. I am not making a huge plan on how to lose this weight for the  109 days. I do have guidlines, though. I do hope to lose at least 3 lbs every week. That would be 45 lbs gone by the end of the year. Very doable. I would be 4 pounds away from the weight I was in Aug of 2013 (152 lbs) before I gained the weight back. On jan 1 I will add/modify the guildlines to help me finish losing to 122-111 lbs before Summer 2016.

Here are the guidlines for the next 109 days.

  • Gluten free

  • Dairy free (some dairy in moderation but no more than one serving per week)

  • Eat healthy foods

  • treadmill at least 30 mins 6 x per week

  • Strength training (20-30 mins) at least 4 x per week

  • Do stretches to get into the splits each day

  • Do morning routine (stretch for 10 mins, make bed, tidy bedroom, brush teeth, put on body lotion)

  • Goal is to lose at least 3 lbs each week

  • Do weight loss vid every Sunday (it is for me... not to put on here)

  • Try to do a 7 day water fast before Oct.

  • Try to do a 10 day water fast before Nov

  • Try to do a 14 day water fast before Jan

  • Love myself no matter what

  • Encourage myself to do the best I can and know that as long as I am trying then that is all that matters. The weight WILL come off.


So that is the guildlines for the next 109 days. Now to break that down for this week. Starting tomorrow I will post the weekly goals and then the main guidlines will be in a cut so I can read them when needed.

Week 1
9-12-15 through 9-18-15
Weigh in date: 19th
Weight Loss Vid (for me): 20th

Mark through for days completed. Red for days I failed. Plain for days no exercise was needed.

Gluten free:
Sat Sun Mon Tue  Wed Thur Fri

Dairy Free
Sat Sun Mon Tue  Wed Thur Fri

Eat healthy foods:
Sat Sun Mon Tue  Wed Thur Fri

Treadmill at least 30 mins 6 x per week
Sat Sun MonTue Wed Thur Fri

Strength training (20-30 mins) at least 4 x per week
Sat Sun Mon Tue  Wed Thur Fri

Do stretches to get into the splits each day
Sat Sun MonTue Wed Thur Fri

Do morning routine
Sat Sun MonTue Wed Thur Fri


B: 45 cals
3/4 cup grapes
L:  285 cals
tuna cakes (homemade with veggies in them and a little oatmeal and mayo) super good and healthy!
D: 310 (GLUTEN and Dairy)
grilled cheese sandwich. It did not even taste good. No more of that stuff!
S: tbd (already up to 640 so If I eat anything it has to be less than 100 cals. Not in the mood to go over 800 cals today)

* I posted my long "what I have been doing" post in a seperate one. This one is only about my diet and exericse goals. They are both too long to post in only one. haha

Hi all.
Lost 0.6 lb yesterday.
Swelling in my legs are better but they still hurt a lot. Still cannot exercise.
Its 1:40 and I have not ate yet. Not sure when I will.
If I do eat max cals are 250.
Not sure how often I will chk in here.
Might try to chk in at least once per week on weigh in time. Or something.

Hope u are all doing well.

This morning I came on here and posted about how I was not going to be posting as much since I dont want to feed my ED any more. Then I find an ana community on here and I realize I can't leave. My ED is still hungry and needs to be in contact with others who understand this part of my brain.

For the next 41 days I will be eating 250 calories max with every 3rd day being a spike day of 500 calories.
Next two weeks will be exercising 1 hr fours times per week..min. (work days leave me no time to workout)
After that I will exercise 2 hrs four times per week. (1 hr cardio + 1 hr strength training/toning)
I will post my weigh-in's on my here and in the community each sunday.
Then after the 41 days I will start a new plan and up my cals to 500 each day.

I guess I was not ready to give up my ED as much as I thought I was. Just reading a few entries by others with ED's set me right back to needing to be here. I guess I was not over my ED as much as i thought I was. ANA still has her pull on me....and sad...but I feel excited again now. Determined. Ready to do this.

We will see.....

B: skipped
L:  167 Calories and 1 carb. Scrambled egg (1 whole egg + 1 egg white (87 cals) with ham (35) chives (0) 1/2 slice cheese (45)
D: (no more than  83 cals) tbd
Goal: 250 cals. Acutal: tbd

Outake Total: tbd
30 x treadmill
30 x toning/strength training

Goal: 800 cals or under

So....again today I did good with the calorie goal.... then messed up on Easter candy. grrrr!!.
b-egg and 1/2 oz sausage (130)
l-chicken with steamed carrots and celery (180)
Then I broke down and ate 6 ....yes 6 of those darn PB easter egg's. Total binge on them. Ugh. So disgusted with myself! those alone are 1020 cals.

That makes my total cals today 1330.

Yesterday cals were 1210 and I gained 0.6 lb. A little over half a pound from 1200 cals. I know most people lose at that amount but I need to eat under 800 to lose.  So today means another gain I guess. I HAVE To do better tomorrow!!!

Today's goal was 500 and 45 carbs or less.
I ended up at 530 cals and 42 carbs so I was very happy with myself. Not perfect but so close that I am ok with it.
THEN we had an unexpected trip to wal mart. Inside the store lies the one sweet that I love the most....Peanut Butter Easter Eggs. I tried. I really did. But they kept calling to me. Begging me to eat them. Saying how much I would regret if I didn't since Easter will be here soon and they will be gone for another year. (Dang voices in my head need to shut up on these things!!!) I gave in. Dang it but I did.
And ate 4 of them for a total of 680 cals. If not for those I would have had a great day. But with those I may end up with a gain. Not sure. But tomorrow I will do better.

Monday's goal is 800 cals or less and 50 carbs or less. Right now I am using different goals each day as I get myself back on track for my normal lower calorie intake I always end up at when I am losing weight.

I still need to do the 45 mins of exericse tonight. But my vertigo is acting up some and I am so tired. BUT once I am off here I am putting on my workout clothes and going to do as much as I can. SOMETHING is better than NOTHING.

Thanks for the comments and encouragement. I forgot how nice it is to be here with all of you amazing people!
Love u all!

One day at a time...

Tomorrow goal: under 500 calories of healthy foods and under 45 carbs. Exercise for 45 mins or more.

Fighting to get myself back on track. Taking this one day at a time with little one day goals.

Been sick with a migraine for 2 days and that started up my vertigo again. I think my messed up glasses (seeing about getting new ones this coming Friday) are the the cause of my issues with double vision. When I take them off everything is blurry but there is no double vision.

Once I am in a better frame of mind I will start commenting you guys again. Right now its a struggle just to post in here. I had to force myself to do it tonight. 


I know I have not been on here much. Been for different reasons. Part of me is saying it is time to step aways from here for awhile. Then another part is begging me to come back. Then I have also been really busy and by the time I update the other sites I am on, I don't have time for here and real blogging. My journal suffers the same fate. I put the quick stuff in my planner and my to-do list book but when it comes to sitting down and writing up a bunch of stuff...I just dont want to do it. So coming here suffers, my journal suffers, emails to my best friend suffers....

Bad dream last night that might have just done what a lot of other stuff could not...
Wont go into it all but basically....a hot guy wanted to have sex with me. The rest of the dream was about me freaking out over how fat I was and how I could not have sex with him since I was so gross. I remember grabbing my stomach and going "you are so disgusting! No way you can have sex with him!" The rest of the dream was me hating on my body and being in tears at how fat I was and hating myself for not losing weight like I know I should.

When your dreams start being effected by your weight you know it is time to do something. Deep down that is how I feel about my body and how I feel about my non-dieting ways right now.

I am up to 185.2 lbs and that sucks! Still in my size 10 jeans but only cause they have been stretched out enough to still fit. Gain even one more pound and I am out of jeans to wear.

Summer is going to be here before we know it. The time to make my Summer Body is NOW!
I have been so lazy and not trying at all. I know part of it is because I have been sick for almost 2 full months and also been fighting vertigo the past 1.5 weeks.

BUT that does NOT give me a reason to eat ice cream and not try to eat healthy!

Maybe I do need to come back here if for nothing else....to list my intake/outake and weight. Make myself accountable. But I know why I really want to come back. THAT part of me is trying to move back in control. And to be honest...I want Her to. I want that control back. I am tired of being so pathetic and fat.

b: 54 cals/1 carb.... 2 egg white/veggie frittata

shameful admission...

Well, I hate getting rid and going through mail. I hate it so much! Hate to even admit this but here goes...when I get my mail I have been going through it and stuffing the stuff that needs to be shredded and all reciepts into a walmart sack and sticking them into the back of my closet...."to deal with another day" Well, today I finally delt with it. I had 4 walmart sacks full and one sack dated back to.....
That is crazy! I have been doing this for 3 freaking years!!! I felt so lazy when I realized! I sat down and it took about an hour but I shredded every thing! So glad that is no longer hanging over my head! Wont be doing that again! Shredding every day anything that needs to be done. No more hiding it away in my closet! The good news is that I have more floor space in my closet now. ;) Dealing with mail has been a big thing on my Things-to-Change List and I have been doing great in it. Perfect really. So I did not need this reminder of how bad I had been. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders! I shredded it all while mom was at church so she would never know! That is how ashamed I am for doing that!

Weight wise....
January was the epic fail it always is. I never lose in Jan. I ended up gaining 1.2 lbs (after losing 7.8 lbs and keeping it off) all in the past 2 weeks after I got sick and said screw it! (since I was feeling so icky and weak and just did not have enough energy to care)

Goal for February is to lose 12.4 lbs. I tend to do better in Feb so I am expecting this month to be better!
Today I did have a glass of milk for breakfast.
Lunch was homemade veggie sushie rolls with homemade spicy peanut sauce. They were so good! Never had sea weed before but when made into thin sushi rolls I really like it! Low cal and healthy!
Dinner...might just have some more veggie rolls.

I want to exercise an hour today but wont get to. Mom has all this cleaning and repair work she wants to do today. After all that I wont feel like exercising. Not with my lack of energy still.

I am putting off my 14 day water fast till my strength is back to normal.

Happy February 1st!

14 day water fast day 1

Day one of my 14 day water fast started last night around 9 pm.
To be honest I am  not sure how often i will be on here to update. I will try though.
gotta go. Leaving for  day of shopping with mom.
Have a great weekend!



Habits and Goals



*My morning routine
*My evening routine
*My beauty routine
*Eating only when I am physically hungry
*Loving myself no matter what I weigh
*Eating healthy unprocessed foods
*Eating lower carb
*Make exercise a regular part of every day


*Do my routines
*Blog Everyday
*Do my 7-14 day water fast
*Lose weight (no fixed number)
*Choose to be productive all month long
*Have fun with the girls at the end of the month!!!!
*Read one book (If I can with my vision)

This Month

January 2016


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